A Month (+) in Photos

I'm not sure of the dates on most of these photos, but I can guarantee these are from the last month. I'll work on getting back to my glory days of knowing dates and being more timely about updating soon. Anti-anxiety medication, here I come!!

July: In the days before we moved, the cats were getting real freaked out. All of their play toys had disappeared as well as the furniture. I think they thought they were getting left. In the whirlwind move (3 days total), we had given our cat carrier to my dad to take our outdoor kitty to Olympia with him, not thinking about how we were going to get our two feisty felines over to the new house. It involved me and Ryan trying to shove them both into a moving box (I swear we are against animal cruelty) and it ended up with both of us wearing some ferocious scratches. Now that we're all settled into our new place, I think the cats are a lot happier, the setting is much more peaceful and there are many deer for them to lust after.

August: A couple weeks after the move, my mom had some time off from work and she decided to come down to Astoria for a weekend! My brother, Ryan and I collaborated on getting my mom a birthday gift of pottery classes, and she has been gracing us with new bowls ever since. She saw an example of a bowl that was selling for $75 in the magazine Real Simple and she decided to replicate it (I tried finding the article, no such luck). It's an adorable little bowl with a white bird perched on the side, we haven't decided what to put in it yet, so it sits proudly displayed on a shelf in our kitchen.

August: As part of my mom's trip down, we decided to make a stop in Portland. It had been quite a while since I had done any major shopping and I had a few major things I needed to get. While we were there, I took my mom to Montage for the first time ever where we chomped down on some Spold (for those of you who don't know what that is, I'm sorry, you're really missing out. It's Spicy and Old fashioned style macaroni, thus Spold. It's to die for). It had been a long time since I had been there, they changed their handwritten menus! I was bummed, but it was wonderful none the less.

August: In a previous post, I talked about our little book nook. I'm not the only member of the family that has been enjoying it. Peanut gets to get acquainted with the neighborhood felines and Marley gets to act like he is the king of the castle on his throne. We finally go the light above it to work, so I am very much looking forward to using that this coming fall.

August: Ryan and I still haven't unpacked most of our belongings. I think this move was pretty taxing on both of us, I still haven't gotten back into the groove since. Also, I think we lack a lot of shelving (in our old house, it was all built in) and I haven't quite decided what I want to purchase yet (well I have, but they're $649 from Pottery Barn). I have been able to unpack just enough boxes to make this beautiful little corner in our bedroom though. I love everything about it, it looks like something straight out of Pinterest.

August: Now that I've lived in Astoria for two years, I know that there is no such thing as summer. You have sunny 62 degree days. It's nearly impossible for it to get any warmer than that (I'll save the rest of this rant for another day). This was one of those sunny cold days that Ryan and I ended up getting off a couple of hours early. I'm not much of a golfer but I can appreciate that Ryan loves it. For that reason, I will sometimes go out golfing with him and either ride or walk along. There's a 9 hole course in Gearhart called Highlands that I actually really enjoy because I can day dream about the beach houses along the course that I hope to one day own. The course is very scenic, this dock extends all the way from the course to the beach.

August: While we were at the course, I wanted to get a picture of the two of us since it had been a while that we had one together. We had a really good time!

August: The whole family in the book nook (Ryan was taking the picture).

August: The beauty of working in a treatment center is that I get to help people through the same difficulties I had in early sobriety. For those like me, I looked at every single problem I had all at once and it became overwhelming really quick. There was a client we had that I have become close with and he is much like me, a worst case scenario-ist. What I have learned over time and through some personal growth is this: "How do you eat an elephant?" Answer: "One bite at a time." I would always have to remind the client this. That you can't handle large tasks all at once and that you have to take it little by little. To show his appreciation, he purchased me this keychain elephant, I loved it.

August: For a long time now I have been putting off going to the dentist, the doctor, everything, for fear what I might find out. I finally bit the bullet and scheduled myself for a teeth cleaning. I found out something I had been thinking for a really long time; I'm a teeth grinder and clencher. After seeing an episode of Sex in the City where Miranda finds out she has TMJ, I was convinced that's what I had. That's not the case though, it's more that when I sleep, I can't help but clamping my jaw together really, REALLY hard. To where it's really painful in the morning and I get headaches throughout the day from it. Finally I got myself this little baby, a night guard. I feel the epitome of cool, I'll tell you that much, but man, she helps so much.

August: Ever since we moved into our new house, Marley has become even more water snobby and will only now drink fresh shower water. It used to be the running sink water would suffice for his highness, but not anymore. At any given time, Marley will herd you into the bathroom and just expect that you are going to run the shower for him. He's also to the point now where he will pop his head in if you are in taking a shower. Ryan said when he first got him, Marley would come into shower with him and Ryan would sing this song:

"Mister Marley-kins McGillicutty lived down by the sea,
And every single day he would pick an apple tree, 
No he didn't know his name and he didn't know his way,
But every single day he would go down by the bay"

I don't know who is more insane, Marley or Ryan.

August 27th, 2013: Not only did I celebrate my 2 years of sobriety on this day, but Ryan also quit smoking. It was truly a day to revere. Ryan had quit smoking about a year and a half prior, but had a slow relapse when he started smoking cigars, then hooka and finally cigarettes when we first opened the facility. It took him about 7 months to come around to the idea of quitting again. Already he's seeing the benefits- both physically and to his wallet. I am one happy lady, not having to kiss an ashtray everyday is wonderful.

August 27th, 2013: I know I didn't upload this photo, but one of my best sober friends Allison put this up on my two years. She's one of the girls I went through the Rosebriar with, and I absolutely adore her. She lives down in LA so we don't get to see or talk to each other as often as I would like, but every time we talk, it's like no time has passed. Two years is a big accomplishment for me, considering in the past I could barely go a couple of days without wondering when I was drinking next. I owe a lot to the people I surround myself with and the changes I have made in my life to get here.

August: As an early birthday present to myself, I ordered the J. Crew necklace I have been eying FOREVER. I really liked the red version of this, but the white is a close second. I'm trying to slowly compile some nice statement necklaces, this is the first of my collection! I'm in love.

August: Ryan and I are Duck's season ticket holders now. It's still crazy trying to wrap my head around that. It was such a surreal experience being back in Autzen after three seasons of not seeing a game there. For the first game of the year against Nichols State, Ryan and I had the opportunity to sit with some friends in the second row, it was pretty damn sweet, especially when the plays were happening right in front of us. I can't lie, I may or may not have started tearing up a little when I first saw the players run out of the tunnel on to the field with the Duck and the guy that rides the motorcycle. It was AWESOME!!!

August: Ryan and I had to take the obligatory picture in front of Autzen. It's one of my favorite sights in the whole world and it's the first one I have been able to snag with my boy.

August: August: I think the goal here was to try to snap a pic with the stadium/field behind us, which obviously was a pretty epic fail, but none the less, here's another picture of me and my boy all ducked up!

September 10, 2013: I'm the first person to admit that I'm not a girly girl. I do love fashion and I try to make my hair and makeup as presentable as possible, but I'm not huge into nail polish, jewelry, so on and so forth. To my memory I have not purchased myself nail polish. In my entire life. So because I watch a lot of beauty gurus on YouTube and because I look at Pinterest a lot, I've been believing more and more that I want to get into painting at least my toes. For an early birthday to myself I picked up Essie's Peach Daiquiri. This first time turned out to be a total disaster, I'm still learning how much paint to load on the brush so it doesn't look totally gloppy and ick. I'm a work in lady progress.

September 12, 2013: One of my favorite gifts this year for my birthday is this delightful Oregon tote. From the minute I laid eyes on it, I knew I had to have it. It's now my daily computer tote to and from work, it's the best!

September 13, 2013: Sometimes, it's just one of those days. This Friday for Ryan could be classified under that category. The second we got home from work, this is how I found him. With our census (number of residents) growing, it's becoming increasingly busy for all of us, Ryan especially since he is Intake and he works with clients insurance companies for all of our facilities. He's one busy, busy man.

September 14, 2013: We woke up pretty early to get down to Eugene for the Tennessee game. Thankfully we stayed in Portland the night before so it wasn't a 6:00 AM drive, but still, 8:00 AM on a Saturday isn't great. The only thing that really helped us through is the wonderful decision we made to start drinking Redbull at that time. My sponsor saw this photo and his comment was, "I didn't know two people could make Redbull look so fun!"

September 14, 2013: Finally Ryan and I got the opportunity to watch the game from our seats. Autzen is a pretty small stadium, so even though we are basically up at the top, the view is wonderful. We actually really love our seats, we're thinking for next year, instead of paying the extra "donation fee" to move closer to the field, that we would purchase four tickets so that we could instead bring family and friends with us to the games!

September: Even before it was officially fall, fall was here in Astoria. I had an opportunity to wear my gorgeous new Hunter Boots (that Ryan got me for my birthday) and my Handsome Devil Boston Terrier sweatshirt (that my mom got me for my birthday). I have been wanting both of these items for as long as I can remember (well at least a year). I was so proud of my outfit that I had to have Ryan take a picture of me wearing it.

September: On our most recent trip to Eugene, we stopped in Portland at New Seasons (my second favorite grocery store of all time) and I acquired the most delicious licorice of all time. I found this stuff back in my Enterprise days (when a customer had left a bag in a returned car) and I have been in love ever since. I find though that when I start eating this stuff, I can't stop myself at just one piece. It's just so damn delicious!! For those of you who are licorice fans, I would highly recommend getting yourself some of this heavenly treat.

Slumps.

It's been almost one month since the last time I blogged, but I don't have to tell all of you that. Something strange happened to me about the time we moved which I am fondly thinking of as a life slump. I shirked away from all previously enjoyable activities, becoming overly tired and unenthusiastic about everything. I stopped reading, blogging, exercising, taking Instagram photos, etc. etc! It's been really crazy actually because I can't come up with any valid reason as to why this is happening.

Well last week, I finally took a stand. Nothing changes if nothing changes, right? The first thing I did was call my sponsor (whom I hadn't talked to in over two months). We met up and started going over what I have been experiencing lately. It's hard to clearly explain, but there have been moments when I feel like all I have going on in my head is white noise. My brain feels fuzzy and I've noticed I've started acting out of character- misplacing things, unintentionally throwing things away and not remembering I did it (like our Duck's season tickets), and just finding myself really confused at some points. We talked all this over, and he recommended to me that I make a doctors appointment.

So I did that next. I'll be having my first physical in over 9 years next week (gulp, I know, I haven't had one since high school).

The final change I have made in my life in the past week is going to see a therapist. I think now that I'm two years sober, my head is screwed on a little tighter than it was when I first started the sobriety adventure. I have been hearing about all of these wonderful experiences some of the women in my life are having thanks to seeing a counselor, so I thought, hell, why not me? I've been talking about going to see someone for a while now, like since college, and after watching this TED talk, I knew I had to get my ass in gear.

I'm now in my late twenties and I have that feeling that I've watched my youth pass me by without being an active participant. Up to this point, I haven't worked hard for anything in my life. I don't know how I ended up with a college degree, but by the grace of God, I did. A lot of the time I feel like a ship without a rudder with no clear carved out direction. I'm hoping that by talking to someone who knows more than I do and has an objective view of what I'm going through, she can help give me direction and clarity. More than anything, I'm hoping that she can help me define what I want out of life, and how the hell I'm going to get it, because left up to my own devices, I'm screwed.

I feel that I'm finally to the point where I'm not satisfied with status quo anymore, I'm not satisfied with just having a "good enough job" and having a roof over my head, I want to challenge myself and push myself harder than I ever have before. I want to take the remaining years of my 20's and make up for lost time so to speak. My early 20's are lost to me in a boozy blurry haze and now that I have a handle on sobriety, I feel like I'm finally in a place where I actually can go the extra mile and push myself towards living the good life.

I don't know what this means for me, but I will try to share as many of my adventures, failures, growing points and Aha moments as I possibly can in the future. I'm ready for an exciting ride folks, buckle up!