New Year, New Resolutions (Part 2 of 4)

EMOTIONALLY

It's taken me about a week to get back into writing about my resolutions because figuring out "emotional" goals is difficult. To be "emotionally happy" is neither timely nor measurable. So I guess what I'm going to create is a bullet point list of things that I need to be content and serene.

• I need to learn to let things go. Sometimes I feel that I obsess over what other people are doing that I deem as irregular or not up to my standards, and I get SO WORKED UP over things that have nothing to do with me. Ryan can tell you, it drives him crazy. Sometimes it's our friends or family members and even sometimes people I don't even know. At some point in my life (I'm not sure when) I internally set the "Erin bar of normalcy" that has really hurt how I view other people and their actions. Basically, if you aren't up to "the bar", you are cut from my life without a second thought. This is neither fair nor productive, I am well aware, but it's like once you've lived one way for so long, it's hard to make a change. I'm aware of this flaw in myself, and I really do want to work on it to eradicate this trait  once and for all. What I think would be helpful is that any time I feel that feeling that I want to say something cutting or judgmental about what someone else is doing or saying, I need to write it down, acknowledge the feeling, then let it go. I must work on coming to any situation with tolerance, love and understanding, because I don't know where people are always coming from and my "standards" mean nothing to them. As Ryan always tells me, people don't always think how you think and they aren't any worse off for that. 
• This brings up a second emotional need. Because I have such high standards for who I let in my life, I sometimes find myself being lonely. Don't get me wrong, I have friends and people I talk to regularly, but it seems most of them don't live in my area, especially any of my girlfriends. Going out and being social and meeting new people to me seems so taxing and time consuming that most nights I would rather stay in my bed and read. But there are times that I would really like friends to watch dumb chick movies with, go shopping with, etc, because Ryan can't do it all. I can't have him be my everything because I'd be setting him up for failure. I've learned over many relationships that I can't rely on my boyfriend to be the best friend, the girlfriend, the social network, my everything, because when they fail in one of those categories, they fail in all of them if that makes sense. So what I'm saying is that I need to get myself out there more. What I really want to do is throw my feelers out and see if any women that I either work with or some girls that are currently Ryan's friends would want to do a book club. It would combine reading and friendship nicely. I would like to get the ball rolling by this next month. I think that would help to fill some of the void and possibly lead to other shared interest activities. This all might sound so weird, I'm sure some readers are thinking "just go make friends, it's not that hard", but I feel like when you've been as isolating and self reliant as I have for so long, you forget those tools, and forget you even need them. As I'm getting older, I see you do. I want girls weekends, I want good friends, I just have to work harder than the next person to do it. 

 For now, those two issues are my emotional "hot buttons" that I want to see the most progress in. Hopefully with time, work and some minor changes, I will be able to consider my life more full and satisfying. Thanks for reading my personal rambles!

Have a wonderful day and go Hawks!!

New Year, New Resolutions (Part 1 of 4)

Alright, I know New Years was last week, but it's taken me a while to tumble some resolutions around in my head. This was a funny past year for me in that it was neither good nor bad, I tried to think back on some major milestones and I couldn't come up with many. I did get a year of sobriety on August 27th, but that was one of the only highlights. I'm tired of watching time pass on the side lines of life. I don't want to be envious of my friends anymore for having all these great things happen, trips to places I want to go, getting married, having these great careers, etc etc, I want to be able to enjoy those things also! I want in the game! So in order to change and have measurable growth for this coming year, I figured I should set some goals.

One of the more valuable things I learned in treatment is that feeling "good" isn't a quick fix, it's a slow progression of a combination of variables. To me, these can be broken down in a simplistic way: Mental, emotional, physical and spiritual elements. This is the easiest way I have come up with to formulate my resolutions and goals for this year.

MENTALLY

Over the last year I have realized that in order for me to feel like I'm nourished mentally, I must be continually growing and learning new things. When I'm stagnate, I'm restless, irritable and discontent. I think for a few years after college, I was in a hibernation state. I thought, "I got my bachelors degree, I've been in school the last 16+ years, I'm alright with being complacent", and I was just that. In my case, idle minds made for the devils playthings. Now with a year+ of sobriety under my belt and a new outlook on life, I'm ready to take on new challenges, grow and learn as much as I can. Hell, I've even thought about going back to school for another bachelors or even a masters and I never thought I'd be saying that. The day I walked out of the hallowed halls of Oregon, I was D-O-N-E. My how things change as you get older, and in some cases, wiser.

I've brainstormed a few goals to mentally challenge myself over the next year:

Reading- As a Goodreads member, I've always been envious of the people who knew about the site at the beginning of last year because there is a side bar that challenges you to come up with a total number of book you are going to read in that calendar year. I came to the site in September so that wasn't going to work for me. Finally with the new year, I can partake! I have committed to (attempt) 80 books this year. That's roughly 6.5 books per month. I'm a quick reader, but I also know that not going to give me much time between books to lavish in the afterglow. I would take a picture of the PILES of books I have stacked at the top of my stairs, but I'm embarrassed. To say that I have gone off the deep end of book acquiring since September would be laughable, I currently have 40+ books that have yet to be read. In my defense, I have banned myself from buying any because I don't want to be like those BookTubers you see on YouTube that have 100s of books they've never read but they keep doing haul videos. Also in my defense, I'm not a book hoarder either. So if I finish a book I don't care for or probably won't read again, I pass it on through Bookmooch so that I can in hopes turn that into another book. Plus, everyone knows that come moving day, books are the worst thing to move! Mentally, reading puts me into a place of zen, it helps me to experience new things, share in emotions and connect to something outside of myself.

Side Venture- For the time being, I love having a 9-5 job. It's paying the bills, it keeps me out of trouble and I really like the people I work with. I'm tired of just being able to pay the bills with little extra for anything else though. Ryan and I have been throwing around ideas for a long time now about doing something, ANYTHING, on the side but nothing has stuck. First it was an iPhone App (which Ryan did extensive work on) but that didn't pan out. Then I was going to collect driftwood and make driftwood everything, but I lost steam with that. Finally, I started thinking about the things I actually purchase and like and would be able to create myself if only I had a certain skill set, which I can acquire. And now I think I've landed on teaching myself Photoshop in order to be able to create AA related typography prints, cards and posters on Etsy. I'm in uncharted waters here my friends. The most technology education I have had was in middle school when I signed up for Gen Y (an all women's tech class) because teachers were saying that technology was the next big wave and being a women with technology skills could only increase my odds of future success. That stuck for about... 3 years. When it came time to devoting my after school life in high school to being in a computer lab, I drew the line, my reputation couldn't handle that. So needless to say, my experience with Photoshop is none, but I'm willing to fart around and see what I can learn. I guess the only way this is a timely and measurable goal would be to say I want to be able to produce professional looking results by June. Six months. With Ryan's help (he has some experience), I should be able to manage this feat. Mentally, I think with my mind set on learning something new and learning something on my own for the first time, I should be able to stay engaged.

Blogging- I watch a ton of YouTube videos. I have a nightly routine. I head up to our room at about 8:30 and that's my dedicated "me" time. I hop into bed, grab my book and my Nexus and get snuggled in for the night. I watch YouTube videos for about an hour then I read until I fall asleep. Since I've been doing that, I think I've been in a sort of Stockholm state where because I watch all these videos, I think I too can make videos. Why is this important you ask? Well because every time I start thinking about starting up a YouTube account, I chastise myself for not even being able to keep up a blog! That being said, my goal is to blog at least once a week. Along with that, I have made a goal to post a picture a day on Instagram which I will then do a weekly recap on here. There's nothing better than looking back at where you've been and what you've been doing at the end of every year. I think holding myself accountable to posting will keep me creative as well. Lord knows I don't want to post updates about my boring ass life, so it's time to spice it up!

Cooking- I love to cook. I'm in a total rut though. With trying to save money by not eating out, that means it's dinner at home nightly, which has become tacos, spaghetti, take home pizza and salad, remix and repeat. What I would love to do is cook my way through a cook book. Nothing too extravagant that calls for thousands of ingredients, like I said, budget, savings. But something that is cooking for beginners, that is simple, healthy and delicious while giving us a large variety of meals to choose from. Anyone heard of such a cook book? Have any suggestions? Let me know. I'm going to do some research of my own and have a book figured out by February, then let the cooking fun begin!!

With making these changes, I hope to stay satisfied and fulfilled year round. Of course if I'm not, there are a lot of other things I can try. One of the best things I have heard this year is that you shouldn't think about something in terms of how much time it's going to take you to accomplish it because the time is going to pass anyway. At least this year, I'm aiming to pass my time a little bit more productively! Until next time, I'll leave you with this thought: CHIP KELLY IS STILL A DUCK!

I Wanna Grow Something Wild and Unruly.

...Or at least something tame and delicious. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not much of an "outdoors wo-man", or green thumb, that's always been my mother. But when Ryan and I moved into our new bungalow though, we instantly noticed there were two raised bed planter boxes in front. We had the same first thought: Vegetable garden! After consulting with my mom, the garden maven, she confirmed that we get enough daily sun exposure to grow ourselves a little garden. Hoorah! Another first.

 Here's a picture of what we're working with:

Upon uploading, I realize the font should be bigger! Oops.

Planter box #2 is the ideal location for optimal sun-time, so we hauled all the soil from planter box #1 over to #2. Here is my ever-so-willing helper in his gardening best:

Take note of the tools of the trade.

Since it's pretty late in the season for planting many things, we decided it would be best to stick to two crops we know would do well, carrots and lettuce. Last week we took a trip to Brim's Home and Garden here in Astoria to pick up some seeds, and for a girl like me (who rarely likes to touch dirt) it was an exciting trip! Who knew there were so many plant options out there. I have a trip planned for the future to grab some tall grass to add to the foliage on our deck, but more on that later. My mom made the suggestion that we stick with Ed Hume seeds because apparently he's a local North-Westerner, so this is what we ended up with:

There were some "out-takes" of Peanut walking across the shot.
Kitty butt + veggies= Always a good time.

It was fun browsing through all the packets of seeds and I can assure you, next spring we will have a wide array of edibles at our disposal. After deciding that today was the day to plant, I realized I needed to actually know how to go about plating a garden, like I said, NOT outdoorsy. Thank god for Google and YouTube. I don't know what people did without those sources of knowledge. I happened upon this basic tutorial from VideoJug which showed me the spacing and proper technique for plating my veggie goodies. It was actually pretty self explanatory. I made sure I was working with a level surface and measured out my rows by using a plank of wood that had unexplainably found it's way into my planter. I didn't have a shovel on had, so I used my God-made-shovelers, my hands. Well, finger if we're getting technical. Then I just did as the website showed and sprinkled a good amount of seeds sporadically about my trench:

Note me awkwardly holding the package with my left hand
while trying to take a picture.

After I got three good rows of carrots, I planted three, semi-squished rows of lettuce and I crafted them all little row tags, as to not get confused:

More professionally made gear crafted out of Ryan's
toothpicks, scrap paper and packing tape!

I then watered and admired my handy work. It doesn't look like much now, but hopefully in 7-10 days of water and sun, these seed babies should be germinating (...or growing if you're a novice like me!). I'm hoping this endeavor goes well, there's something that seems so gratifying about being able to eat off your own land. I'll be sure to update (good or bad) on the happenings in my little garden! Until next time! 

FURminators! Mount up!

This marks an exciting day in the Briggs/Peterson household. As I showed you in this post, we have two wonderful cats that we adore. I swear, I'm like a first time parent taking pictures of them at every turn. Ryan and I talk to Marley and Peanut as if they are real people, and not a day goes by without one of us screaming to the other, "Come quick!!! Look what ______ cat is doing!". Seriously.

But even the most loving parents can get irritated some times. For example (well, really my only example) I'm a neat freak, a trait that Peanut and Marley don't much care for in me. They are two literal walking, shedding balls of fur. The color black or blue, or anything dark for that matter really isn't an option anymore without strenuous lint rolling. Since our big move about two weeks ago, I have been sweeping our wood floors every day, maybe even twice a day. And our bed? I don't want to even talk about what happens when I shake out our duvet. So though I love the fluff balls, I can't stand their fur (I admitted to Ryan that sometimes to get back at them I discard my shedd-ed hair on them as payback. They mysteriously don't seem to mind as much as I do...)

Enter the FURminator:

Marley getting acquainted with his new worst enemy.

It's like the Terminator for fur. Or, as the tagline on the back of the package says, "Because your cat's hair looks better in the trash than on your couch". True. Ryan read a ton of reviews on Amazon, it has something like 4.5 stars out of 5. We've been anxiously awaiting its arrival, picture us telling the cats (in a very deep movie trailer voice), "You're going to get... FURminated!" So today when it came in the mail, I held it up like I was Lady Liberty and it, my torch. 

Normally, I'm not much of a shameless product promoter, but this thing is a dream! Basically the angled brush works to remove the undercoat of dead hair which produces results like this:

It's like a tumbleweed!

That, my friends, was about 5 minutes worth of work. That's like the size of Peanuts head!! This is a day of freedom. Freedom from hair, freedom from brooms and freedom from endless lint rolling! I'm adding this one to the win column (and buying one for everyone in my and Ryan's family, Merry Christmas). Until next time!