Alright, I know New Years was last week, but it's taken me a while to tumble some resolutions around in my head. This was a funny past year for me in that it was neither good nor bad, I tried to think back on some major milestones and I couldn't come up with many. I did get a year of sobriety on August 27th, but that was one of the only highlights. I'm tired of watching time pass on the side lines of life. I don't want to be envious of my friends anymore for having all these great things happen, trips to places I want to go, getting married, having these great careers, etc etc, I want to be able to enjoy those things also! I want in the game! So in order to change and have measurable growth for this coming year, I figured I should set some goals.
One of the more valuable things I learned in treatment is that feeling "good" isn't a quick fix, it's a slow progression of a combination of variables. To me, these can be broken down in a simplistic way: Mental, emotional, physical and spiritual elements. This is the easiest way I have come up with to formulate my resolutions and goals for this year.
MENTALLY
Over the last year I have realized that in order for me to feel like I'm nourished mentally, I must be continually growing and learning new things. When I'm stagnate, I'm restless, irritable and discontent. I think for a few years after college, I was in a hibernation state. I thought, "I got my bachelors degree, I've been in school the last 16+ years, I'm alright with being complacent", and I was just that. In my case, idle minds made for the devils playthings. Now with a year+ of sobriety under my belt and a new outlook on life, I'm ready to take on new challenges, grow and learn as much as I can. Hell, I've even thought about going back to school for another bachelors or even a masters and I never thought I'd be saying that. The day I walked out of the hallowed halls of Oregon, I was D-O-N-E. My how things change as you get older, and in some cases, wiser.
I've brainstormed a few goals to mentally challenge myself over the next year:
Reading- As a Goodreads member, I've always been envious of the people who knew about the site at the beginning of last year because there is a side bar that challenges you to come up with a total number of book you are going to read in that calendar year. I came to the site in September so that wasn't going to work for me. Finally with the new year, I can partake! I have committed to (attempt) 80 books this year. That's roughly 6.5 books per month. I'm a quick reader, but I also know that not going to give me much time between books to lavish in the afterglow. I would take a picture of the PILES of books I have stacked at the top of my stairs, but I'm embarrassed. To say that I have gone off the deep end of book acquiring since September would be laughable, I currently have 40+ books that have yet to be read. In my defense, I have banned myself from buying any because I don't want to be like those BookTubers you see on YouTube that have 100s of books they've never read but they keep doing haul videos. Also in my defense, I'm not a book hoarder either. So if I finish a book I don't care for or probably won't read again, I pass it on through Bookmooch so that I can in hopes turn that into another book. Plus, everyone knows that come moving day, books are the worst thing to move! Mentally, reading puts me into a place of zen, it helps me to experience new things, share in emotions and connect to something outside of myself.
Side Venture- For the time being, I love having a 9-5 job. It's paying the bills, it keeps me out of trouble and I really like the people I work with. I'm tired of just being able to pay the bills with little extra for anything else though. Ryan and I have been throwing around ideas for a long time now about doing something, ANYTHING, on the side but nothing has stuck. First it was an iPhone App (which Ryan did extensive work on) but that didn't pan out. Then I was going to collect driftwood and make driftwood everything, but I lost steam with that. Finally, I started thinking about the things I actually purchase and like and would be able to create myself if only I had a certain skill set, which I can acquire. And now I think I've landed on teaching myself Photoshop in order to be able to create AA related typography prints, cards and posters on Etsy. I'm in uncharted waters here my friends. The most technology education I have had was in middle school when I signed up for Gen Y (an all women's tech class) because teachers were saying that technology was the next big wave and being a women with technology skills could only increase my odds of future success. That stuck for about... 3 years. When it came time to devoting my after school life in high school to being in a computer lab, I drew the line, my reputation couldn't handle that. So needless to say, my experience with Photoshop is none, but I'm willing to fart around and see what I can learn. I guess the only way this is a timely and measurable goal would be to say I want to be able to produce professional looking results by June. Six months. With Ryan's help (he has some experience), I should be able to manage this feat. Mentally, I think with my mind set on learning something new and learning something on my own for the first time, I should be able to stay engaged.
Blogging- I watch a ton of YouTube videos. I have a nightly routine. I head up to our room at about 8:30 and that's my dedicated "me" time. I hop into bed, grab my book and my Nexus and get snuggled in for the night. I watch YouTube videos for about an hour then I read until I fall asleep. Since I've been doing that, I think I've been in a sort of Stockholm state where because I watch all these videos, I think I too can make videos. Why is this important you ask? Well because every time I start thinking about starting up a YouTube account, I chastise myself for not even being able to keep up a blog! That being said, my goal is to blog at least once a week. Along with that, I have made a goal to post a picture a day on Instagram which I will then do a weekly recap on here. There's nothing better than looking back at where you've been and what you've been doing at the end of every year. I think holding myself accountable to posting will keep me creative as well. Lord knows I don't want to post updates about my boring ass life, so it's time to spice it up!
Cooking- I love to cook. I'm in a total rut though. With trying to save money by not eating out, that means it's dinner at home nightly, which has become tacos, spaghetti, take home pizza and salad, remix and repeat. What I would love to do is cook my way through a cook book. Nothing too extravagant that calls for thousands of ingredients, like I said, budget, savings. But something that is cooking for beginners, that is simple, healthy and delicious while giving us a large variety of meals to choose from. Anyone heard of such a cook book? Have any suggestions? Let me know. I'm going to do some research of my own and have a book figured out by February, then let the cooking fun begin!!
With making these changes, I hope to stay satisfied and fulfilled year round. Of course if I'm not, there are a lot of other things I can try. One of the best things I have heard this year is that you shouldn't think about something in terms of how much time it's going to take you to accomplish it because the time is going to pass anyway. At least this year, I'm aiming to pass my time a little bit more productively! Until next time, I'll leave you with this thought: CHIP KELLY IS STILL A DUCK!
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